I remember the day Jenny was born. She was out in 5, with not a minute to loose. Kicking and screaming, pouting and shouting, crying and laughing, she was a girl that from birth knew that there was an agenda for her to fill.
She was any new mom's dream, born with a whole head of hair. But as most dreams go, I didn't realize that we would also begin a journey with it. Brushing was a struggle from the get go, her big hazel eyes just shedding out tears. Big, shiny ones that left a trail long enough to walk in, sit down, and read a book. So, with the sweetest look I knew how to give, I told my little precious gem that "Beauty comes with a price and beauty some times hurts". The words seemed to be as transparent as the tears that were falling.
Its funny now, how her tears brought out some of mine. Tears that soon became the chapters of our lives. And in the midst of each emotional break down we would drive to my husbands work, so that he could talk to me and for a minute hold her. No one saw the days when we couldn't understand each other. When simple things like trying to dress her turned into tantrums while she deliberated if that's what she wanted to do at all. The scene she would create with the scattered popcorn on the floor, cereal on the carpet, and spills on the very thing I just spent half of the day trying to put on.
It seemed that in between her emotional break downs and mine, I was learning a few things about a nurture that needed to be balanced by consistency. But as days rolled by and another set of problems appeared I struggled to be positive. Realistically, I was in a place where months of potty training had gone wrong. When instead of going on her potty she would take the opportunity to show case it in art. Poop smeared against her satin headboard, toys, carpet and clothes was not a dream that I wanted to be living in.
Prayer along with persistence finally paid off a few months later, when she finally went on the potty herself. But as one area was concurred another area was about to be questioned. The difference between her disobedience and her curiosity, was a little harder. Because Jenny had a way of filling in all the shades of gray. Literally, we saw her spread the ashes on the carpet, only to sit down and play with the black disaster. It turns out that even rules have shades and we spent the next few years discovering them.
Today, I still tell her to take a few more bites of her food, brush in between tears, and teach her about putting things back. But I also know that when she speaks, people listen. That, her attention to detail is something she was born with. And that she has a personality that is all her own. Its one that creates interest where ever she goes and a leader that loves to teach. Of course, I thought, from the moment she was born she has been teaching me.
Looking back, I know that it has been a full season of ups and downs but in a sense it felt like at the same time we were being reassured as parents about our parenting. So, comforted by god, I began thinking about another girl, at first scared by the very idea. But the more I thought, the more I felt ready to have one. Six months in, I can't be more thrilled by the idea that Jenny will finally have a sister and our lives will be enriched by another girl.
made of sugar and spice,
And everything nice.