Let loose...foot loose

Sometimes in life, their is more room for feelings then their is for words. Their is more times of trial then their is for triumph, and sometimes their is more doubt then faith.

Loosing our home happens to be the story of my life right now. Going through the emotions feels like a rollar coaster at times, probably because I am not so great at letting go and letting God. I want answers and he asks me to wait. I want results and he tells me "it's not time". I want a plan and he tells me to trust.

Although I appreciate the encouragement from the many wonderful people in my life, it hurts me to say that, no words can make our situation better. Many days I worry if my motives are even pure and if my desires are Devine. Have I lived a life for God? Or have I lived more for my own pleasure?The battle between right and wrong, replay in my mind, until that one day, last week. When He asked me to "Let go".

I believe he told me that for me, Letting go, is eye opening and heart transforming. It is a moment of choice between worry or peace, between controling the situation or rolling with it. It's about seeing life differently and living differently. The difference between trusting yourself and trusting God. It's the choice between staying or leaving, holding or releasing, the tight grasp of my identity.

I tried to let go, desperately seeking for the peace that I had hoped for. Desperatly, wanting the moment to feel differently than It did. But instead I got something else.I got a phone call from my friend to tell me that she got healed from arthritis. I got a praise report from a family that had been searching for a home "nothing short of a miracle" they stated. It continued. One testimony after another. But it wasn't until I saw the rainbow that it began to make sense to me.

A rainbow that day, declared Gods promise to me. A promise that as actively as he is working in the lives if my friends He is actively working out the details in mine. And letting go, is decision that I needed to make instead of waiting around for the right feeling.

I believe he has a plan, yet their are days when it just doesn't feel like it.Hope.