Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Today, I helped Jenny get dressed. We started off by picking out the pants first. I know that she likes them a lot because her favorite color is turquoise, so it seemed like a good foundation to build off of. The button up shirt was new, and I could tell from the sour expression she had on her face that she was skeptical. Are you sure that this isn't a boys shirt? She questioned, referring to her brothers white dress shirt. I smiled, I liked how she paid attention to even the finest details, and then I reassured her that she would like the completed look. I reminded her to hold onto her sleeve, and she quickly adjusted herself to do it as I helped her with the cardigan. Seeing that we still had plenty of time before school, I carefully reminded her that cardigans and sweaters are not one time use articles. They can be worn a few times before going into the laundry pile. She nodded, but I knew that this rule would escape her many more times and I would find it once again buried in the dirty pile of clothes. I finally tied the bow,fixed her hair, and straightened her shirt before she ran off to the mirror.
Jenny's look today cost $10.50. That includes the pants, cardigan, long sleeve button down, and the polka-dot bow.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
One Sunday, a few months ago, I was sitting in the very back of the church. I had come late, as i usually do, and sat in one of the last rows of the sanctuary. I remember that the sermon was harder to hear. I remember that I kept being distracted by a couple of kids in my row. I also remember looking far too many times at the door that was being open and closed. But although I was very distracted, I remember the worship. I remember my hands outstretched, my heart open, and the closeness I felt to my Lord.
In that small moment, I also remember feeling embarrassed. Foolishly I thought that I had reached a place of transparency with him, while I knew that a part of me was still holding onto a battle that I thought was too big for him.
Humbled I came to him, searching him out in the Sunday crowd. I need you, I said. What is it? He asked. Well, God. I said. I know that there are many people in far deeper hurts then I am. And I often feel that if any body should be helped, it should be them. But I also know that you see me battle with Eczema every day. And if there is any room for me to be healed from this minor discomfort then I would truly be grateful.
That was when I felt him touch me, so close, so near, that my eyes began to tingle. And I knew that he heard me.
Since then, I have experienced a healing that is considered to be prolonged instead of instant. At first it was just the simple notion of knowing, but before long it became an experience where He met me every day until every thing cleared up. And every day, I poured out a renewed gratitude because of it. Today when I woke up, I knew that he was finished. I knew, that I was healed.
I battled with a skin disorder that has no cure. It is considered a form of allergy and is genetic. It affected the area around my eyes, its only treatment is through prescription creams and ointments, which I had to apply daily for relief.
Praising God, Hope.