One of the challenges that I am often facing is consistent thoughtfulness. I know that I want my children to witness kindness outside the walls of our home and I feel that it is easily practiced if I make it a priority. The problem is that it takes more than a desire to be thoughtful, it also requires the delegation to do it. And that to put others before me and my schedules, I would need to stop making excuses.
I usually find that more often than not, I would suddenly get tired, or I would find myself frustrated, or be so overwhelmed with my chores that it wouldn't be possible to make room for any thing else. Wanting to change this pattern, I started asking myself if the sudden idea (which was most often last minute) was possible or not. I would then seek for a window of time, and ask God, to show it to me.
Some times it has been as simple as putting an item on hold for a friend and sometimes its putting something of mine back so that I could bless some one else. And some times, its bringing a coffee by, or lunch, or dessert, or maybe just a drop by. Regardless, I have been working on being thoughtful.
Today I was reminded of my parents. I was reminded of my mother and how she instilled in me the importance of bringing something to the host of the home that I was entering. It was a simple thought usually, I box of chocolates, some fruit, or jam. But even simple actions require time and I wondered at what point in my life, I got so busy that I lost the gratitude of being a guest. And honestly, I wasn't okay with that. I wasn't okay with ignoring this thought, especially because Tamar is one of the most influential women in my life.
Tamar is one of those ladies, who never complains, and I admire that about her. Besides raising her 5 children, being a pastor to the young adults in our church, carrying her sixth child, and finding time to develop her passion for renewing furniture, she happens to also be my friend on top of that. I am so grateful for our time, especially because she has blessed me with a few knowledgeable tools that I use with my children to this day.
If you have something to say, place your hand on my shoulder and wait patiently for me to finish talking. I can not forget, because you are touching me and I know it is of value to you because you have waited. Besides practicing the diligence of patience, it is also a good example of respect.
If you misbehave before your friends arrive, you will not be allowed to play. You have disobeyed me and the rules of our home so you will need to be in your room, by yourself. I need to know that I can trust you independently before you are allowed to play with your peers. This promotes obedience as well as teaches consequence.
There are two types of snacks. When the adults are eating and talking it is called "adult time". You can not have or ask about the snacks on the table, they are put out for our guest. I have separate snacks for you and the other children, which I can give you once we finish having "adult time". I think this just promotes sanity for the moms and a reason to have special treats.
Those are my favorite three. Of course there are probably a dozen more because Tamar is very wise and I look forward to learning new parenting techniques in our meetings together. While having her on my mind, I decided that running a few minutes late was not going to hold me back from making a treat for our "adult time" today. While I was prepping, I also began to wonder about your day and if it was any different than mine?
Don't you ever wonder what other people are doing? I do. Sometimes it's for the sanity of not being the only one. Sometimes it's for ideas to new approaches. And sometimes it simply to feed my craving for curiosity. In any case, I hope that you enjoyed having a small moment with me.