Valentines Day

This was written and inspired by love, from a boy to a girl. Long ago, when I was young...er.

It is twenty past eight and I'm standing alone, thinking of you again.
I stand staring at the water as it jumps with each drop of summer rain.
Like the beating of one's heart.

The grass is laden with dew;the air is filled with the scent of new beginnings,
And yet all I can think about....is you.

I stand atop this hill alone, gazing deeply into nature's glory.
Her beauty is serene, it is absolute, and it is the perfect story.
I see the beauty of God's creation and it make me want to cry,
I shed a tear, so sincere, I wipe it from my eye.

I cannot help but look in awe;I see it in the distance
God has given me a perfect rainbow. Time stands still, just this single instance.

The moment seems too perfect, this perfect place in time,
It seems too good to be so real, this moment cannot be mine.
For in my heart I feel so empty, there is but one thing on my mind
I am thinking of you and only you,
Why, oh why must I die with so much inside?

God has given me this perfect moment, in this perfect place in time,
Yet you are not here to share it, you cannot see it, You cannot feel its wondrous grace.

Oh, how I wish you were here with me, to see this glorious view,
For I would give up all of this just to be with you.
You are my beauty, my paradise, my wondrous delight.
But how it saddens me inside that I cannot be your knight.

I feel a pain you cannot know, I hold a sadness I will not show
I hear a thunder in the distance;I see a vision of us,
And I feel the pain that was given on a sad day of loss.

Why had I been so timid, why was I so damn shy;
I should have asked you for your hand before I let you fly.
My chance with you seems over now;I have fallen out of place;
I cannot let you know my feelings; I would not dare loose face.

For if you and me meant hurting you, than I would not interfere;
I would not break your happiness with the one you hold so dear.
I only wish to tell you so; I love you may then you may ever know,
I know this now from knowing you; I cannot deny it...It is true.

We have been so close these past few years, for all this reason, I come to tears.
It seemed so right, It was meant to be
But you chose some one you barely knew, Instead of choosing me.

Why? Oh, God, how could I have been so blind? This is not paradise I see
It is only in my mind. For in my thoughts my vision is true; I can see me here with only you!

Paradise is such a place for it would hold such glory;
I wish that I could be with you, you are my perfect story.
A thousand words I have to say, not one of them describes,
The way I feel in my heart, the way I feel inside.

If one thousand poets were given one thousand years,
If one thousand lovers were to shed one thousand tears,
Not one of these in the heavens above could ever come close
To the love I have for you.

The mere sight of you has always made me weak;
Even today I still get nervous when I am with you,
I find it hard to speak.

For this reason, I wrote my heart out.

Love your enemy?

Yesterday, as I was about my regular cleaning routine I kept thinking about God. Yep, just completely in awe by him and his power, his grace and his love for....ME?

I had an enemy for years now and as I stood in the hall of my home I began to see God in it. I began to see how he used my feelings toward her to discover areas in my heart that I wouldn't have before. How he worked in me and used every tear I shed in my battles. Of course, I didn't know it then but yesterday it all made sense.


Each day that she was on my mind, required me to work on myself. Each confrontation, pushed me to understand. And each time I felt I was letting it go the devil would strike again. I think I forgave her every day, just so I could feel relief. There were many times when I literally felt "attacked".


Standing there yesterday I couldn't believe that the person I am today is because of my "enemy". I was amazed at how God could use hatred to change me into a better person and how I blind I was about the situation. I started to remember all the things I said and regret filled my soul. I was so sorry I couldn't take them back and at the same time glad that I could be forgiven.

I wish I could tell you that she is my best friend now, but sadly she is not. Regardless, I am sure she will continue to challenge me for a long time. I know she can stir me up, push all my buttons and question my expectations. In this process I will learn with a new perspective, with a new direction and with a some-what better me, I will welcome it.

Today, I am so excited to close this chapter in my life. For those who don't know me, let me just say that what ever your battle is, it is yours and maybe what you feel is meant to be felt. I was disturbed enough about this in my heart that it consumed me. Each and every day. This is also for those that have had to hear my story, through the years. Thank you for all the advice in a time when felt I had nothing more to give.

What's your situation? Do you think god could be in the middle of it? Think about it.

Let's lift up, hope.

One Perspective

These are the parts, the things that I see, held in my heart for you and for me. For the things that unfold are the truths that I know. This is my image of you.

Your stride is your confidence guiding you. You are aware of the things around and you know that you can make a difference. It is amazing how in tune you are with yourself, so much so that no matter what has happened you accepted it and took action. You are quick to learn, to adjust with the speed of life. There is no room for regret, for regret is not a step forward to the place you are heading.

You are strong, collected, confident. You know what you want and you are prepared for it. Despite all of this you are also approachable, likable and reasonable. You are cocky but charming, smart but funny and realistic but positive. You are not boring and can hold a conversation, you give proper compliments and are not afraid to show your sensitive side. You know how to have fun and are not up-tight. You know how to unwind and enjoy life. You believe in miracles, in soul-mates and love-at-first-sight. You stand for religion and all things that are right. You have a voice, you have power and charisma. You have ambitions, goals, and dreams. You know when you are wrong and are not ashamed to apologize.

You are your own, you know who you are and the person you have become. You give it your everything. You do all that you can. To prove to us daily that you hold your self accountable by your actions. You are responsible, respected and reliable. You are understanding, willing, and giving. You have compassion and our needs always come before your own.

In any case you are the perfect man by all the worldly standards. Happy Fathers Day to all those fathers, the ones that try, the ones who stand strong when we don't and to the ones who take it when we can't. Because we watch you everyday, grow with you, and become you.



Watching, hope.