Tuesday, August 31, 2010

August Winner!


Thank you so much for everyone's interest in this months apron give away. It seems that my excitement was building up along with yours and I just couldn't wait to find out who the winner might be. As it turns out the lucky person this month is Pappy Boutique. I am so excited to not only give away this apron but also be introduced to her blog and her life.


So Pappy, let this apron inspire you. Look good on you. And help you in every cooking adventure. May each spoon fall on a clean floor, dish not break, and food land right-side up. All the best to you.

Nice to meet you, hope.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

T-Shirt Frenzy


I love the simplicity that happens when a t-shirt and jeans pair up together. There is something reliable about the moment, almost calming in the sense that it continues to be a trend. The truth is, I always come back to it and I envy my little boy when he has his tees on. So when I found these plain t-shirts for a dollar, it gave me an idea. Four t-shirts in four different ways.

Strips are always a go with me but something this predictable needed to be balanced with something that was not. A hand-stitched star helped this shirt have a sporty but trendy feel. I think Converse needs to watch out because I can draw stars too.

The hat here makes this shirt go a whole other level. But if you look close enough you will see that the shape of the guitar was mimicked off the fabric. A modern but yet classic look when the two were paired together.

Ties, seem to be hitting the stores nation wide. It is an inspirational idea that was easy to create, especially when I used the scraps from turning pants into shorts. Of course I always have jeans to lean on but the way I see it, matching should expand past the collections found in Gymboree.

Lastly, is the pocket. Probably the most functional of them all. But I learned that any thing functional can also be turned into something beautiful. Just by replacing the existing pocket with a pattern one gave this little tee some attitude.

There is always more then one way, hope.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Strawberry Cream Cake

Strawberry Cream Cake
Recipe courtesy of America's Test Kitchen

Cake:

1 1/4 cups cake flour
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. table salt
1 cup sugar
5 lg. eggs (2 whole, 3 separated)
Room Temperature
6 tbsp. unsalted butter,
Melted and cooled, slightly
2 tbsp. water
2 tsp. vanilla extract

Strawberry filling:

2 lbs medium or large strawberries
Washed, drained, and stemmed
4-6 tbsp. sugar
2 tbsp. Kirsch
Pinch table salt

Whipped Cream:

8 ounces cream cheese,
Room Temperature
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1/8 tsp. table salt
2 cups heavy cream

1. For the cake: Adjust oven rack to lower-middle position and heat oven to 325 F. Grease and flour round 9 by 2-inch cake pan or 9-inch spring form pan and line with parchment paper. Whisk flour, baking powder, salt, and all but 3 tbsp. of sugar in a mixing bowl. Whisk in 2 whole eggs and 3 egg yolks (reserving whites), butter, water, and vanilla; whisk until smooth.

2. In a clean bowl of a standing mixer fitted with a whisk attachment, beat remaining 3 egg whites at medium low speed until frothy, 1 to 2 minutes. With machine running, gradually add remaining 3 tbsp sugar, increase speed to med-high and beat until soft peaks form, 1-1 1/2 minutes. Stir one third of the egg whites into batter to lighten; add remaining whites and gently fold into batter until no white streaks remain. Pour batter into prepared pan and bake until toothpick inserted into center of cake comes out clean. 30-40 minutes. Cool cake in pan 10 minutes, then invert cake onto creased wire rack;peel off and discard parchment. Invert cake again;cool completely, about 2 hours.

3. For the strawberry filling: Halve 24 of the best-looking berries and reserve. Quarter remaining berries; toss with 4-6 tbsp of sugar (depending on the sweetness of berries) in a medium bowl and let sit 1 hour, stirring occasionally. Strain juices from berries and reserve, you should have about 1/2 cup. In a work bowl of a food processor fitted with a metal blade, give macerated berries five 1 second pulses. You should have about 1 1/2 cups. In a small sauce pan over med-high heat, simmer reserved juices and Kirsch until syrupy and reduced to about 3 tbsp. 3-5 mins. Pour reduced syrup over macerated berries, add pinch of salt, and toss to combine. Set aside until cake is cooled.

4. For the whipped cream: When the cake has cooled, place cream cheese, sugar, vanilla and salt in bowl of standing mixer fitted with whisk attachment. Whisk at med-high speed until light and fluffy, 1-2 mins. Scraping bowl if necessary. Reduce speed to low and add heavy cream in slow, steady stream; when almost fully combined, increase speed to med-high and beat until mixture holds stiff peaks, 2 to 2 1/2 minutes more, scraping bowl as needed.

5. To assemble the cake: Using a large serrated knife, slice cake into three even layers. Place bottom layer on cardboard round or cake plate and arrange a ring of 20 strawberry halves, cut sides down and stem ends facing out, around perimeter of cake layer. Pour one half of pureed strawberry mixture in center and then spread to cover any exposed cake. Gently spread about one third of whipped cream over berry layer, leaving 1/2 inch border from the edge. Place middle cake layer on top and press down gently (whipped cream layer should become flush with cake edge). Repeat with 20 additional strawberry halves, remaining berry mixture and half of the whipped cream; gently press last cake layer top. Spread with remaining whipped cream over the top; decorate with remaining cut strawberries. Serve, or chill for up to 4 hours.

Berry, hopeful.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Sunny Sunday


Saturday was a day that was filled with disappointments and I wondered how many things could go wrong in one day before we would "call it a day". It was about midnight, as we were driving back from a long trip that I accepted it and hoped for a brighter tomorrow.


The next day, we woke up late and then lingered in the comfort of our bed as we made plans for our day. We splurged on a delicious coffee drink to go with our cookie, waited patiently at the new coffee place and observed the clever upholstery made from potato sacks, before finally making it to the park.


The park was beautiful and we took complete advantage of it. We laid in the shade and dreamed about the future. Played ball with the kiddos under the big oak trees and then threw up the tiny helicopters in the wind. We ate lunch that "Genius" prepared and enjoyed conversations with our children. They went on to play in the play ground and we continued to be in the moment of perfection.


It was such a release from yesterdays disappointments. There was such a peace about the moment that we stayed, far longer then our usual picnic adventures and loved every minute of it. Taking a small walk with my daughter we stumbled upon a field of fallen pine cones so we motioned for the family to come join us. Of course, pine cones began to be thrown everywhere. One after another hitting each other, sometimes by the handful.

We were happy, satisfied and rested by the end of our weekend. Just what all of us needed before starting another week of chores, cleaning, appointments, and work. More of schedules, compromises, and decisions. Simply put, it was nice to have this moment.


Delighted, hope.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Day in my kitchen


Sunday breakfasts are my favorite. We had potato pancakes with a mushroom spinach filling that was topped by an over easy egg. Delicious, but it was doing it Omlette style that proved to be a hit.

Moms potato pancakes.
3 med. potatoes, peeled and shredded
1 egg, beaten in
Salt and pepper to taste

For lunch, my traditional recipe for "Breakfast boats" went lunch today! By substituting the egg with a recipe of "Marinated Tomatoes" it was an easy but perfect combination of flavor.

Two hearty meals was enough to satisfy our family for the day, but dessert was still unaccounted for so tea seemed appropriate. We get our tea from "Townsheds" check it out at http://www.townshendstea.com/.


Lastly, this is one of my favorite cakes. A simple Strawberry Cream Cake that is exceptional in my books. Stay tuned for a recipe that should be posted this week.

Sunday, hope.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

August Give Away!

Spills, splats, slips all happen in the kitchen. I am probably queen of that territory and have been told by more then once that I am the messiest cook. Its true. I am. But that is probably why I always rely on my apron to save me from the many disasters that I create. The thing is, messy never meant ugly and I love to slip on an apron that I can feel cute in.

Inspired by messes and mess-ups I want to give away this apron to my viewers. Send your comments about life inside your kitchen and I will write you in for my monthly giveaway.


Might as well have fun doing it, hope.




Friday, July 30, 2010

July Winner!

Thank you so much for every one's interest in my first give-a-way but as all give-a-ways go, there is only one winner. Roxanne, is the lucky lady that won this month. I am so excited to present this piece to her as she is new to the site and a recent follower to the blog.

Stay tuned for a new give-a-way in August.
Making it from my home to yours, hope.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Knotical Room


Some one very wise once told me that the rule to being blessed is by blessing others. About a month ago I was given a pile of miscellaneous fabrics and I have been looking for special ways to give back a little of what was given to me.

This week as I helped my sister-in-law prepare a guest bedroom for her summer visitors. I made this custom art piece for her Nautical inspired room. I used some the fabric I was given on a set of frames, stapled it to a ply wood board and then formed the knots before gluing them on.

Of course I just couldn't help myself but make the matching decorate pillow you see on the bed (by now you should know my obsession with them). Pulled together with a golden button, it was a simple but yet a favorite piece of mine.




Whimsical details of boats, sailors, and shells added interest to the room but went along well with the functional ones too. Things like towels, slippers, robes, and body products will make the guests feel welcomed and comfortable.

Things that we had to keep in mind was that NOT ALL ocean things will work together. Less is more and simple is best. Picking out just a few favorite things usually helps in any decorating adventure.

In the end, my sister loved the room and thanked me more then I could probably handle. What she doesn't know is that I have been waiting for an opportunity. My blessing to her will in turn be her blessing for the guests staying in that room. So instead I think she gave me a privilege.

Note: The total it took to make this room from nothing to something took approximately $100 dollars.

Linked together, Hope.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Wedding Bells


I watched the groom wait for his bride. The bride was nothing less than perfect. And as I listened to their written vows, I couldn't help but remember my own. Smiling, at the memory I enjoyed every minute of the wedding. It was private, personal and planned. Everything was orderly and well thought through.

The dance was precious. You could tell the groom was shy about his routine, nervous perhaps but fulfilled the steps none the less with a smile on the whole time. She gracefully moved her body, letting the dress sway along to the rhythm of the music. Beautifully, they danced their way around the floor. And along with everyone else, I was caught in the moment.


The ending brought me very close to tears. It struck my heart so close because at one time he had a place in my life and now, somewhere in between, we parted. It seems to be the case with most family, outside my own life seldom do I find the time for anything else. It wasn't like I regretted anything or expected but watching him dedicate his life to a girl made me think, just a bit.


Perhaps, I could show some interest. Find some time for the people that I so rarely see and swing by once in a while. I would have liked to know a little about her, before the wedding. Hear the story of how they met, when they fell in love, and the ways they fill each other out. Instead, I am a relative that watches from the side lines, only wishing happiness.

Inspired by that day, by everything that is right and white I made a little something. I created this flower for this special season of unity, purity, and beauty. It is almost a dedication for the seemingly effortless love that people have, yet work so hard on.

Forever and ever, hope.

If you enjoyed this, you might like this....
http://outtoimpress-hope.blogspot.com/2010/05/mothers-day.html

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Boys will be boys


The children were fast asleep upstairs and we sat on our couch watching the television screen, when a car commercial came on. Within that moment, both of us recalled the accident almost two years ago. Still driving a borrowed vehicle, we knew that we were pushing the limit on it.

The commercial made us laugh, a bittersweet song. He told me about all the places he wants to take us and I believed him. I knew his passion for the road. The kind that takes us to see the first snow fall an hour and a half out, just to stand outside and feel it. Soft and fragile in our hands.

To escape was to drive away for him. Away from the instability of a small business and into the roads of direction. It was hard, hard in a sense that it took away more then our money but his joy. Now, to survive meant to endure and that was the bottom for him.


I listened to him as he recalled all the details of the car he wanted and all the things that would come with it. And, as I sat there listening I found myself doubting his perfect dream. I thought he was being ridiculous. Ridiculous or not, I did acknowledge that men were created a certain way. They were absolutely fascinated with motors, action and speed. Who was I to say what we needed? I know nothing about cars.

Immediately I recalled one of my favorite phrases that I heard early on in our marriage.

Trusting God means trusting your husband. To know that he is the leader of your family and that God is the leader of him. To respect him as you respect the Lord. To follow him and stand by him in all of his decisions and all of his dreams.

So I leaned in and wished along with him.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

July Giveaway!

Right about now summer vacation is in full swing for most parents. To celebrate this season I re-created one of my favorite accessories for girls. My purpose for making this head-band scarf was to keep Jenny's hair out of her face, during all her little activities. The elastic in the back makes it easy to slide on and off, while the detachable flower adds some feminine flair.




Please celebrate with me by posting a comment and in turn I will add your name to a raffle that will be drawn at the end of the month. Thank you.

Details: The head-band is hand made. Wash in regular cycle but lay flat to dry. Iron as needed. The flower is hand stitched but does have glue added so it is not washable but it is detachable. Fits most children from 3-7 years of age.

Share the love, hope.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Summer Berries


I had an early morning yesterday. By nine o'clock I was at a local produce store watching them unload a fresh assortment of berries. My mouth watered, just at the sight of them and knew that today was the day to bake.


Pavlova
Saveur magazine

4 egg whites, at room temperature
A pinch of salt
1 cup + 2 tbsp superfine sugar
2 tsp cornstarch
1 tsp white vinegar
Few drops vanilla Extract
1 1/2 cups heavy cream
A whole bunch of fresh berries

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper, then trace a 10 inch circle on the paper; set aside. Put the egg whites and salt into the clean bowl of a standing mixer fitted with a whisk and beat on medium-low speed until frothy, about 2 mins. Increase speed to medium-high and beat until whites form stiff but not dry peaks, 2-3 mins. Gradually add sugar while beating, then increase speed to high and beat until stiff and glossy, 3-5 mins. Sprinkle cornstarch, vinegar, and vanilla over whites, then gently fold in.

2. Fill traced circle with meringue, smoothing top and sides. Put meringue in middle of oven and reduce heat to 300 F. Bake for 1 hour. Turn off oven and leave meringue inside until completely cool, about 4 hours.

3. Remove paper and place meringue on a cake plate. Whip cream and a little sugar to soft peaks, then pile on top of meringue. Arrange cut fruit over whipped cream. Slice pavlova into wedges to serve.

Sweet, hope.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Reaching the heavens

The sweet scent of honesty filled the room. Everything was out in the open, and vulnerable she took a chance with me. Pray for me she asked. I could sense the sincerity in her heart, the longing in her eyes and the urgency in her words. Together we agreed that there is nothing more powerful than words, more sudden than regret and more damaged than trust. Together we stood on the edge of our lives, trying to make sense of it.

I could feel her pain so close to me, almost one with me and I prayed the best I could for her, for me and for anyone else wanting this prayer. From the honest part of me, the hopeful part of me and the searching part of me, I let the words coming out of my mouth be words that were filled with purpose.

I began by believing that there is no circumstance that is too big for God to deal with, the understanding that even in our worst timing lies his perfect time and the faith that when all road's seem to be at there end, it is only then when they begin.

Help them see the beginning of their lives. Stir up their love for each other again, remind them of their commitments to one another and help them see past the place they are at. Surround them, be with them, and live in them. Always as the God that you are.

Release them from the guilt that they feel, the hold that the enemy has on them. Instead, open their eyes to each other and accept the truth that is yours instead of the lies that the enemy has made them believe. Help them clearly distinguish what is yours from what is not, through the power of your words and the truth of the bible.

Talk to them. Teach them how to communicate with each other, with understanding and without blame. Begin filling the silence of their lives with your purpose, so that nothing is wasted. Instead let each moment be an opportunity where they could rebuild their trust.

Be their foundation, so that they may not waiver off the path that you have set before them. Let it be stronger and more fierce than what the world offers, than what the enemy holds in his hands. May they not be tempted. Instead, during their faithful walk would you bring wisdom and understanding to their actions and persistence in their minds. Help them fight the fight for what is right.

Most importantly, use this season in their lives to be the season that they see you.

Pray, Hope.

You might also enjoy....
http://outtoimpress-hope.blogspot.com/2010/05/reign-down.html

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Ruffled up laundry

The loads of laundry looked dreadful. Colors, whites, darks, jeans, sheets, and stains ran through my mind. Just the thought of it exhausted me. For those that don't know me, laundry is my least favorite thing. Continually it poses to be an ongoing struggle.

In my first years of marriage, I composed the perfect plan. Laundry day would be my "chick-flick" day. Crying and laughing I would sit in the middle of the piles folding away. Since then our family has doubled and so has our laundry, the children grew up and time escaped. Now, laundry is simply fit in with all of the other stuff. And some days, on my good days, I choose to do it with a smile.

This week, a friend asked me an interesting question "Does it ever get to be enjoyable?" Well, I have never been asked the question before so immediately I began to wonder. Does it? Has it? And will it be?

One thing I knew for sure. I do my chores, no matter what. I hold them equally important to each other, but joy on the other hand, was a little different. The best thing I have, is that I seem to easily recognize the things I don't like and to try to find ways to make it into some thing I do.


For instance, people think that I have a passion for cooking. And it might seem that way, but the truth is that I have a passion for new flavors and if I don't cook up something new, by itself it is not a passion at all. Early on I discovered that if I wanted delicious, I would need to make it delicious. Now I just follow the instructions of people who do have a passion for it.

Cleaning is another big one that I get asked all the time. For me, cleaning is one way I help free my mind of the clutter that I can control. By taking a few minutes out of my day, I find that I am in a better mood and less overwhelmed. This way I can spend the rest of my time filling it in with the things that I love.

I love having friends over, I love making things for them and with them. I love the feeling I get when I spend the day enjoying the sun and doing nothing at all, but having every thing done. I love to create and implement it into every area I can. That I have a passion for and I use it to drive me to do the things that I don't.

But joy? Sometimes I just hum the line "Our joy comes from the Lord".

On the other hand, there also comes along moments, right after laundry and in between dinner where I have a small amount of time to be free. And in this ruffle, joy happened.

Joyous, hope.





Thursday, June 17, 2010

Tea Party


I don't try to throw the most outrageous parties, just the ones I can afford. Very often, I find myself smiling at a fifty dollar budget. Visualizing the grand possibilities that always seem to push my creativity. I actually love challenges because instead of seeing limitations I try to see opportunities and this was one of those times.

(Dishes, borrowed $0)

Using a set of the classic "blue and white" dishes I started to create my palate. I knew that they were not the traditional colors for a girls baby shower, but I also knew that being different had a way of grasping attention so instead of changing them I crossed my fingers and took a chance. One thing about taking chances is that you can't let people influence your decision, believe in yourself and in your idea.

(Napkins, Ikea. Table cloth $25)

Even though I was pretty certain that the colors would be beautiful, I also looked for ways to add femininity to the table. At the time adding gold and yellow seemed like a good idea until I realized that they were "Royal" colors. Not wanting the guests to think that this was for a "little-prince-in-waiting" I felt stumped.

(Paper birds $6, spray painted curly willow $3)
(Plants from the yard $0)

Seeing as the weather was going to be warming up, I took the extra step in taking the table outside. I felt that it would lighten the atmosphere and give my mind some much needed air. Looking out, I recalled the popular phrase "Easy, breezy, beautiful....Cover girl" With that said, a new direction was inspired. White curtains, fresh fragrances, barefoot pleasures, and elegance. Were the few feminine things that I wanted to incorporate.

(Furniture and curtains I had so $0, lanterns $1 each)

Excited about my new approach I spent the next two weeks preparing. It seemed that even though I had my ideas in place and my challenges faced, I knew that more importantly, more then the decor, more then anything. Women love food. To gather, to sip and to chat amongst ourselves, some would say, is what we live for. But just as we would dress ourselves to the occasion we must also dress our food.

Our eyes like to be drawn to things that excite us and make us wonder. Wanting to create visual appeal I tried to incorporate this to the perimeter of the table. Adding personal dessert trifles and a delicious brew of pomegranate iced tea were ways I added texture and appeal. Quietly, they proclaimed themselves "personal".

But no matter how well any party is planned, it is still dependent on your guests for a great turnout. Being personal is one way to make your guests to feel welcomed and comfortable. It is by them that the mood of the party is determined, so when I looked at all the bare foot ladies in this picture I finally accepted that this was a success.

Verse of the week:

"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing
some people have entertained angels without knowing it"

Hebrews 13:2




Friday, June 11, 2010

Holy Rain


They say that the North West has hundreds of names for rain. This week it rained Holy rain. Not very often do the heavens fall down on me, drenching me with their grace. So I watched the rain as it continued to pour, breaking all records and penetrating into every root of life, including mine.

In the day that that work overwhelmed me, he was there with a solution. With a person and a plan that exceeded anything I could have even prayed for. Relieved, I rested in his rest.

In the day when I had nothing, He was there with everything. With a person and plan that was uncalled for but at the same time very much appreciated. Excited, I rejoiced in him.

In the day when I was doubting, He was there with a gift. With a person and a plan that was personal to me. Thankful, I accepted it.

In the day when I didn't have enough time, He was there with plenty. With a person and a plan He offered me help. And I took advantage of it.

For four days he poured into me, into my life, and into each desire. He was there. I think he was building me up for the last day when we received an offer on our house. Taken a back I questioned him. I asked him if this was his will and he spoke...

"Look at your week, look at what I have done for you. Of course my hand is on this." He said.

Reassured, I let him take it. I knew that His will was better then mine. I knew that He was able to do anything that he willed to do. And that even my desires were part of his plan.

Verse of my week:

"Because I am doing something in your days-You would not believe if you were told"
Habakkuk 1:5

His plans, my hope.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Favor Flavor


This mushroom dish is an adopted version of an appetizer 'Genius' and I had at a restaurant years ago. Sparking up old memories we spent the evening trying to capture the moment again by piecing together his recollection and mine. After we paired it with a bottle of wine and fresh bread, there could not have been anything better to bring our day to a close.

Mushrooms


6 cups Mushrooms, halved
1 shallot, minced
4 garlic cloves, minced
1/3 cup of Sherry
1/2 cup of beef broth
8 tbsp unsalted butter
Parsley, chopped

Melt 2 tbsp of butter with 1 tbsp olive oil in a large frying pan. Add the quartered mushrooms and saute until their juices release and they begin to brown, about 5 minutes. Reducing the heat to medium, continue to cook the mushrooms. Stir frequently as they brown, deepening the color. This should take another 10 minutes.

Add the garlic and shallots to the mushrooms and stir for a minute to release the flavors. Add the wine and stir for another minute letting it reduce slightly. Add the broth and allow the mixture to cook for another minute before turning it off. Swirl in the last of the butter, one tbsp at a time to create a silky and buttery sauce. Adjust the seasonings with salt and pepper and serve with warm bread.

Sprinkle with parsley or any of your favorite herbs. If your having it with steak, blue cheese would also be a great option. Enjoy.

Verse of my week:

Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do. Ecclesiastes 9: 7

Hope.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Helping hands

From a young age, Jenny would ask if I needed help. "No, let me finish this off myself" I'd say. "But mom....if two people work together, you'd be done much faster" she'd reply.

Little did I know that my girl had already begun to understand the concept of time. And she wholeheartedly believed that if I had more time, I would have time for her. So she did what any child could. She found small moments of possibility and asked "Can you play with me now?"

Little did she know that in a adult world there is never enough time. Even with her longing heart, her held back tears and all her strength it still took a change in me to realize that I needed to learn how to "hear" their cries and not so easily excuse them. So I started to search for moments when I could play with my children instead of finding reasons not to.

When I look at them, I see their patience. The real kind of patience that waits on people to finish and even helps. Not once being bitter, not once getting mad but hanging on to the words of promise. And when the clock strikes 1, I can almost see her face light up as she runs up the stairs to get her things. After all the barbies are in the kitchen we make lunch and discuss the plan for the next little while.

We usually have dessert with them. This one is out of yellow sponge, cut out and painted.


Perhaps get ready for a party. This ring was made our of wire and beads attached to a gem.


And some times go on a adventure. So much can happen in the back yard of a home.


I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3-4

Make time, hope.


Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Reign Down

The rains came in, pouring down heavily on my heart. In many ways today was a result of yesterdays problems and I knew it. Frustration had a way of coming out in questions and I wondered why God would stir up a hope that was meant for failure? What was the point of that? And now what, now what God?

I sit and I wait, I wait and I hope. At this point I wonder if I even have hope? Especially the kind that endures. I wonder how I could feel his presence all around me but yet feel so alone? I wonder how the bible can make so much sense but at the same time not be enough? I wonder if my confusion it that of doubt? I know if I doubt, I doubt him. PERIOD.

I drown myself in music, feeding off the words. Tasting their desperation in the moment that's very much my own.

Here I am down on my knees again,
Fighting to live and to breathe again,
Only surrender will help me now,
Only You can even take me now.
I know in this pain there is healing,
I believe in Your name, I find healing
Holding on another day...
Just to see what You will throw my way.
Falling apart, barely breathing
Broken heart, that's still beating
For every life there is reason.


There is something about words that's so powerful. But I had nothing left to say, nothing more to give and nothing else I could do. So I sat on the floor of my closet and let my heart do the talking this time, do the listening this once. With barely enough time to compose myself I heard the phone ring.

The conversation was about a girl who was drowning, deeper and deeper. With each moment she felt weaker, unable to move or to choose. Unable to fight she lets herself be attacked while every bone in her body cries out for help. Even in her state, when nothing can matter, she still hears the whispers of God. She still sees his hand upon her broken, tiny, frail, self and she cries. She cries because she wonders how she can feel his presence all around but yet feel so alone? She wonders why the bible makes so much sense but at the same time not be enough? In her confusion she begins to doubt. To doubt God, To doubt love, To doubt life.

In the depth of my despair I began to see the fingerprint of God on the whole day. How he used me and my situation to stir up feeling and even doubt just so I could understand this girl and pray a prayer for her. And maybe, when she lies awake at night that little voice inside her head will ring a little louder.

I sang the songs again, a song of hope for her.
Friends, hope.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

"The Works"

Lagmaun


This recipe takes flavor to a whole new level. It is fresh and savory, garlicky and spicy, and flavorful but not overpowering. Seriously, this meal is the whole deal. So let's cook!

Step 1:


1 1/2 lbs. Sirloin Steak
1 tbsp oil
28 oz canned tomatoes
2 bay leaves
2-3 tomatoes, diced

Heat a tablespoon of oil in a deep skillet. Cut up a pound of Sirloin Steak, or any cut of lean beef. Saute, the beef on high until it looses its pink color. Add diced tomatoes and diced fresh tomatoes. Add a little salt and a the bay leaves, cover and let simmer on low for about an hour.

Step 2:


2 medium potatoes, cubed
2 onions, cubed
2 bell peppers, cubed
2 carrots, cubed
1 eggplant, cubed
2 zucchini, cubed
2 parsnips, cubed
2 turnips, cubed

Heat the oven to 375 F. Cube the potatoes and onions and place on one baking sheet, pour a small amount of olive oil on the baking sheet and stir the veggies to coat. Place the sheet on the top rack in the oven. While that begins to bake, cube the bell peppers and carrots of similar size and place on the second sheet. Repeat with the coating of oil. Place in the oven on the bottom rack. While this is baking cut up the parsnip and turnip, also of similar size and check on the potatoes in about 10 minutes. If they have begun to brown, they are ready.


In a large, empty pot place the browned potatoes and onions in. On the now empty baking sheet place the parsnips and turnips. Repeat with the coating of oil. Transfer the bottom baking sheet to the top and then put the parsnips and turnips on the bottom rack. This is done for even baking. Lastly, cube the eggplant and zucchini, and wait for the other veggies to finish baking. Once they are, add them to the pot and on the 2 empty baking sheets place the eggplant and zucchini. Repeat with the coating of oil and bake in the oven until ready.

Step 3:

1 lb of Linguine noodles

While the last of your veggies are baking, take out another pot to cook the pasta in. Follow the directions for the pasta on the box. Coat with oil and set aside.

Step 4:

(without water added, yet)

Check back with the eggplant. If it is ready and beginning to brown add it to the main veggie pot and then check your meat. By now, it should be tender when pierced with a fork. Add it to the pot with all of the veggies and then pour in enough water to double the amount that was in the pot. The consistency should be that of a hearty soup. Bring the stew to a boil and add salt and pepper to taste, simmer for 5 minutes to blend the flavors together.

Step 5:

1/2 English cucumber,
mandolin-ed or grated
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
1/2 cup of vinegar
Salt and Pepper

In a small bowl stir together all of the ingredients. Set aside.

Step 6:


1 can of Salsa (I use Trader Joes)
1/2 or more of Jalapeno, diced
Fresh Cilantro, chopped
1-2 Fresh tomatoes

In a food processor, pulse all of the ingredients together. Set aside in a bowl.

Step 7:


A pot of stew.
A pot of noodles.
A bowl of Cucumber salad.
A bowl of Pureed Salsa.

There is no right or wrong in this but basically you just pour yourself a bowl of veggie stew and add as many noodles as you like. Top it off with some salsa and cucumber salad. To eat, just stir together and enjoy, to make it easier use both a spoon and a fork :)

Step by step, Hope.